B1. Forgiveness Intervention According to Diener and Seligman (2002), our relati

B1. Forgiveness Intervention
According to Diener and Seligman (2002), our relationships with others are among the best predictors of happiness. Humans are social animals, and our capacity to love and be loved is one of the most important aspects of our being. The downside to developing close relationships is that it opens us up to being hurt by those we care about most, and often this hurt stays with us for a long time.
In this experiential activity you will engage in a forgiveness intervention based on empathy and compassion. Choose one specific act (specific time, place, and action) committed by someone close to you for which you still harbor hurt, anger, or resentment. In other words, an act that, when you think about it, continues to bother you or cause you distress. The harm caused can be major or minor, and you do NOT need to disclose the act in your discussion post.
INTERVENTION PROCESS: Complete the following steps by answering each of the questions:
What were you taught growing up about forgiveness (from parents, religion, etc.)
Do these teachings interfere with your forgiveness of the harmful act? If so, explain why. If not, explain why you have not applied these teachings to the harmful act. You might consider how this act differs from other acts that you have forgiven.
When you think about the harmful act, what emotions, thoughts, or physical reactions do you have?
When you think about the person who committed the harmful act, what emotions, thoughts, or physical reactions do you have?
How has this harmful act changed your views and trust in others? What other negative impacts has this act had in your life? Allow any negative emotions to arise and acknowledge that what happened was not okay. Also acknowledge that you will no longer be a victim, or no longer let this harmful act have power over you.
Find empathy for the person who committed the harmful act.
What was life like for this person growing up? What wounds or stressful life events do you think this person has had to endure that made him/her more likely to hurt you?
What stressors or pain were in this person’s life at the time he/she committed the harmful act that made him/her more likely to hurt you?
Can you understand why this person did what he/she did? Understanding does NOT mean you condone the behavior, only that you can empathize or see the act from his/her perspective. Empathy opens the door for compassion and forgiveness.
Find compassion for the person who committed the harmful act.
Can you bear the pain caused by this harmful act in order to show mercy to the person who committed it and relieving his/her burden or suffering?
What “gifts” could you give the person to relieve his/her suffering? Make a list. For example, I might call the person more frequently. (These do not need to be carried out, just imagined.)
Forgive the person who committed the harmful act.
Can you let go of the hurt and anger caused by this person? Can you separate the person from the act?
If you are able to forgive the person, what feelings, thoughts, or emotions do you now have toward him/her? In what way have they changed?
If you are not able to forgive the person, what is impeding forgiveness? For example, are you stuck on the empathy step?
Final thoughts: Have you found meaning or purpose in the hurtful act? For example, perhaps you are more sensitive now to causing others pain. Or perhaps dealing with the hurt has made you more resilient. Sometimes we grow from the negative experiences in our life, and reflecting on this growth can help us move forward.
Caveat: Forgiving does not mean excusing someone’s behavior by not holding them accountable, or “forgetting” the behavior and pretending it never happened. In addition, forgiving is not the same as reconciling. Reconciling means that mutual trust has been re-established. You may choose to reconcile with someone you forgive, but you can forgive without reconciling.
WRITING THE PAPER: You are free to reflect upon and write about this experience in any way that you wish. However, you should connect to the PP research from your text, such as the chapter on relationships (6), the chapter on forgiving (9), or any of the articles assigned related to forgiving. In particular, you should consider the benefits of close relationships and of forgiving those close to us. You must have at least two connections to course materials (cited and referenced). (Note: You are NOT being asked to provide the answers to the intervention questions. Instead, you are reflecting on the intervention process and what it means to you.)
For all of the brief papers, you must follow correct APA format (7th Edition). Your paper should be written in narrative fashion—avoid using bullet points or lists—and must be at least 400 words in length but not more than 600 words in total. Please paraphrase instead of using direct quotations and check your format for citations and references. You do not need an abstract. In addition to appropriate margins, font type and size, and continuous double-spacing, be sure to include the following:
Title page (student version)
Page numbers
Headings (as needed)
References page