This is a Medical School Admissions Essay, the maximum it should be shorted and

This is a Medical School Admissions Essay, the maximum it should be shorted and rewritten to is 1.5 pages single spaced which is a 5,300-character maximum limit.
If you can literally rewrite this and make it REALLY impressive, I’m willing to tip 30-40 dollars.
You don’t need any citations or a cover page, your job is to do the following.
1) Create a Hook that is very strong . Example of this is in the “samplestatments”, folder. (Personal Statement 7. is a real good example) But dont plagirize of even make the word structure the exact same from any of those examples!
– You can take elements from anything from my first publish 1st paragraph and the second one, or any way that you feel you would perfect it!
– You can literally even make up stuff to make it seem more appealing( with appopriate context ONLY.
* I don’t even care if you have to rewrite the whole first paragraph, the essay should be like someone is glued to the paper from the 1st sentnece. Take stuff from the 1st and 2nd publish and rewrite it.
2) Rewrite the whole essay in such a way where there are no grammatical errors and the sentence strucutre is very smooth.
3) Shorten the paper to a page and a half single space. You dont need to waste time making a cover page and all that. 4) Avoid making the essay like a autobiography, make it very in general straight and why this canidate would be doctor.
When you read many of these sample essays, you will see that students follow the structure of…..
Introductionary Paragraph – Gives the background and a REALLY good hook.
– The ending of the 1st paragraph has the thesis.
* IMPORTANT to note that the thesis in my essay is in the first page of the ” publishs file”, in the outline section.
Body Paragraph(s) (2 usually)
– States the role the student gave in the activity or life event(example: helping patients in the hospital at ___ Hospital).
– A problem or situation in which the activity or life event they thruogh( Examples could be dealing with a patient in the hospital or etc..)
– The characteristcs the student showed from the activity. Last Paragraph – Here, you have the choice of re-writting the last paragaph I made(from the 2nd publish), or you could completley rewrite it to make it even more appealing.
^ This “strucuture/outline” is something I made in the 1st page in the publish’s File
OKAY, LAST IMPORTANT THING!!! —-Look at this link, it will help you ALOT write the essay better! https://reflectivemeded.org/2017/02/28/tough-love-for-your-personal-statement-advice-from-a-medical-school-dean/
* The essay should not focus on the my weaknesees per say, but more so on how i made growth and continued my journey.